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Post by SillyFyre on Sept 2, 2005 9:53:55 GMT -5
LMAO...ok..those are good.
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Post by Corrinewentworth on Sept 2, 2005 11:08:22 GMT -5
Here's one:
A Sudden Change Of Mind
My Dearest Susan,
Sweetie of my heart. I've been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement. Simply devestated. Won't you please consider coming back to me? You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill. I can never marry another woman quite like you. I need you so much. Won't you forgive me and let us make a new beginning? I love you so.
Yours always and truly, John
P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
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Post by Skyler on Sept 3, 2005 11:11:19 GMT -5
LOL! That's good.
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Post by BekahGirl421 on Sept 3, 2005 18:05:39 GMT -5
LOL that is great! LMAO
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Post by Skyler on Sept 6, 2005 20:19:01 GMT -5
A young family moved into a house, next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next-door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them gems-in-the-rough, more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a couple of dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the two-dollar "pay" she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own paycheck at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with the crew building the house next door to us."
"My goodness gracious," said the teller, "and will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Home Depot ever deliver the f---ing sheet rock..."
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Post by Cynthiax3 on Sept 6, 2005 20:22:04 GMT -5
OH my gosh that is too funny. Reminds me of when we went on base and my son was like three. The guards had put their little referigerator outside to defrost. My son saw it and goes what the hell is that? LOL
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Post by Skyler on Sept 6, 2005 20:23:01 GMT -5
LOL! I'm checking my emails. So there might be more!
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Post by SillyFyre on Sept 6, 2005 20:23:44 GMT -5
LMAO...oh those are so good.
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Post by Skyler on Sept 6, 2005 20:24:49 GMT -5
Like this!!
Subject: FIRST DATE
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have
>dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big
event, the
>girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner,
she would
>like to go out and make love for the first time.
>
>Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex
before, so
>he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some
condoms. The
>pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells
the boy
>everything there is to know about condoms and sex.
>
>At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many
condoms
>he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy
>insists on the family pack because he thinks he will
be rather
>busy, it being his first time and all.
>
>That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents
house and
>meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited
for you to
>meet my parents, come on in!"
>
>The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table
where the
>girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to
say grace
>and bows his head.
>
>A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer,
with his
>head down.
>
>10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
>
>Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the
girlfriend
>leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no
idea you
>were this religious."
>
>The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your
father was
>a pharmacist."
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Post by Cynthiax3 on Sept 6, 2005 20:26:07 GMT -5
I have heard that one before. It is so funny.
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Post by SillyFyre on Sept 6, 2005 20:27:29 GMT -5
LOL....Oh that good.
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Post by Skyler on Sept 6, 2005 20:28:02 GMT -5
Thank you! Thank you! I'd like to thank Lynn for those wonderful emails!
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Post by Cynthiax3 on Sept 6, 2005 20:29:41 GMT -5
Thanks you Lynn. LOL
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Post by Skyler on Sept 6, 2005 20:30:19 GMT -5
I'll tell her you said thanx!
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Post by Corrinewentworth on Sept 7, 2005 13:10:07 GMT -5
LOL! Those were good Skye. I've got another one.
Kids At A Wedding
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young escort to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
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