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Post by Cynthiax3 on Aug 10, 2005 15:36:01 GMT -5
This was supposedly reported in the British Sun. BUZZING UNDIES MAKE SHOPPER FAINT
A woman collapsed in a supermarket when her vibrating panties made her faint with pleasure. The kinky 33 yr old housewife was wearing a pair of battery operated passion pants, bought from a sex shop, while she did her shopping, according to the British tab The Sun. But she got so stimulated by the 6 cm vibrating bullet in the panies that she lost consciousness. She fell and hit her head in the crowded supermarket in Swansea, Wales.
When paramedics arrived, they found her black imitaion leather knickers still buzzing. They took them off before an ambulance took her to the hospital. The woman, whose identity has been kept private suffered no long lasting effects. And as she left the hospital a paramedic gave her back her passion pants in a plastic bag.
A spokeman for the supermarket chain told Sun "We like to think shopping with us is exciting enough already".
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Post by Skyler on Aug 10, 2005 15:49:33 GMT -5
LMAO. How embarassing.
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Post by Corrinewentworth on Aug 10, 2005 16:00:39 GMT -5
Here's a redneck joke:
HICK COMPUTER TERMS:
Backup- what you do when you run across a skunk in the woods.
Bar code- them's the fightin rules down at the local tavern.
Bug- the reason you give for calling in sick.
Byte- what your pit bull done to cousin Jethro.
Cache- needed when you run out of food stamps.
Chip- pasture muffins that you try not to step in.
Crash- when you go to Junior's party univited.
Digital- the art of counting on your fingers.
Diskette- female disco dancer.
Fax- what you lie about to the IRS.
Hacker- Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking.
Hardcopy- picture looked at when selling tattoos.
Internet- where cafeteria workers put their hair.
Keyboard- where you hang your keys to the John Deere.
Mac- Big Bubba's favorite fast food.
Megahertz- how your head feels after 17 beers.
Modem- what you did when the grass and weeds got too tall.
Mouse pad- where Mickey and Minnie live.
Network- scoopin up a big fish before it breaks the line.
Online- where to stay when your taking the sobriety test.
Rom- where the pope lives.
Screen- helps keep the skeeters off the porch.
Serial port- a red wine you drink with breakfast.
Superconductor- Amtracks's employee of the year.
SCSI- what you call your week old underwear.
Terminal- time to call the undertaker.
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Post by Corrinewentworth on Aug 10, 2005 16:23:04 GMT -5
Oh, oh! I've got it. This is in honor of our precious Carpathian males.
Translations for Carpathian men:
1) "It's a guy thing!" T- "There's no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
2) "Can I help with dinner?" T- "Why isn't it already on the table?"
3) "Uh-huh", "Sure honey", or "Yes dear." T- "Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response."
4) "It would take too long to explain." T- "I have no idea how it works."
5) "Take a break honey. Your working to hard." T- "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
6) "That's interesting dear." T- "Are you still talking?"
7) "You know how bad my memory is." T- "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned. But I forgot your birthday."
8) "Oh don't fuss. I just cut myself, no big deal." T- "I actually have a severed limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurt."
9) "Hey I've got my reasons for what I'm doing." T- "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."
10) "I can't find it." T- "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands so I'm completely clueless."
11) "What did I do this time?" T- "What did you catch me at?"
12) "I'm not lost. I know exactly where we are." T- "No one will ever see us alive again."
13) "We share the housework." T- "I make the messes, she cleans them up."
LOL! My favorite is number twelve.
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Post by Skyler on Aug 10, 2005 18:44:13 GMT -5
LMAO!! I love those! Did you make them up?
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Post by Cynthiax3 on Aug 10, 2005 18:58:13 GMT -5
Oh my gosh those are too funny.
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Post by Skyler on Aug 10, 2005 19:03:45 GMT -5
I know!
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Post by SillyFyre on Aug 10, 2005 19:56:00 GMT -5
LOL...Oh man, I do love them.
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Post by Skyler on Aug 10, 2005 20:02:45 GMT -5
I know!!
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Post by Cynthiax3 on Aug 10, 2005 20:04:51 GMT -5
They were good weren't they?
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Post by SillyFyre on Aug 10, 2005 20:07:17 GMT -5
Yes they are.
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Post by Skyler on Aug 10, 2005 20:10:07 GMT -5
LOL! Yes they were.
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Post by Skyler on Aug 11, 2005 19:53:48 GMT -5
a blonde was very depressed and decided to hang herself in the park. her friend found out and went to the park. sure enough she was hanging from a tree and her friend asked why she was hanging from her waist. the blonde replyed "when i hung from my neck, it choked me!"
a brunette was standing by the road repeating the number 89. a blonde came by and said 89 with the brunette. she told the blonde to say it in the middle of the road, so she did and a car killed her. the brunette then repeated 90, 90, 90.
a blonde came to work crying and her boss asked her what was wrong. she said that her mother died. after a few weeks she was better until one day again, she came to work crying "my sister's mother died!"
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Post by Cynthiax3 on Aug 11, 2005 20:28:30 GMT -5
LMAO
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Post by SillyFyre on Aug 11, 2005 20:37:19 GMT -5
ok..Skyler what with the blonde jokes?!!
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